just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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