So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
