Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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