you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
