ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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