I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
