The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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