Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
