Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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