i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
