im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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