u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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