does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
