I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
