she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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