matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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