oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
