So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
