Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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