i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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