We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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