What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
