i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
