i was born a porn star she said
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall