It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?