are you so shy because you have an std?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I touched a dick in church today
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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