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• (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?

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