i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.