My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
