i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
