you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
