Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize