he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
