what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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