JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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