Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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