I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
