I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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