We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
