By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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