Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
