They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize