Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize