Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
