in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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