wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
