..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
