I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
