and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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