I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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