Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
