Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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