he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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