We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
