I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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