Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
