he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
