Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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