What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
