You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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