I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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