at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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