I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize