She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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