You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
