At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
