a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
