Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
