I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
