Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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