Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
